Doing the dance
If you look at life as a dance, you will no doubt agree that working mothers have to dance to two different rhythms. We have the work rhythm with a strong, insistent drum beat of profit, customer satisfaction and boss' demands. And there is the dance at home which is more subtle and varied. Your family looks to you to harmonize the various melodies of children and partner. Just when you have it all working - the beat changes and you need to adjust - quickly.
Change can be exhausting and nerve racking. It can also be exhilarating. How do you navigate change and still do the happy dance?
Again, I draw from the wisdom of my yoga teacher, Amanda. If you need to change position or take a challenging pose, it helps a lot to have a strong foundation. To me, that means being very clear in your own mind about what is important to you and why. You need to prioritize to make this work. For most of us, our family is the most important thing in our lives. But does that mean that you let even a small family need get in the way of work obligations? If you did, you probably wouldn't continue working for long. If you want to do both dances, you need to decide when you listen to one tune and when you listen to the other. Guilt, by the way, will throw off your balance so try to let go of guilt completely.
You may need to let go of things you'd like to do but that just don't make the cut after you prioritize. For example, home cooked meals with the whole family are important. But, they are not more important than letting my kids get involved in sports and other activities that take them away from home at night. Or, you would love to go to every one of your kid's soccer games but sometimes, you just need to stay at work to get something important finished. When I travel, I miss a lot at home. I miss all of the after school chats about the social world my boys live in. On the other hand, I do interesting work and go to interesting places and traveling is important for me to be effective. Although I feel sad when I miss things at home, I don't feel guilty because I made the decision to take a job that requires travel and I love what I do.
Dancing to multiple tunes every day is not easy. It requires trial and error. But, as Amanda told us today, learning the steps may be difficult but, once you learn the steps to the dance, you will find bliss.
Change can be exhausting and nerve racking. It can also be exhilarating. How do you navigate change and still do the happy dance?
Again, I draw from the wisdom of my yoga teacher, Amanda. If you need to change position or take a challenging pose, it helps a lot to have a strong foundation. To me, that means being very clear in your own mind about what is important to you and why. You need to prioritize to make this work. For most of us, our family is the most important thing in our lives. But does that mean that you let even a small family need get in the way of work obligations? If you did, you probably wouldn't continue working for long. If you want to do both dances, you need to decide when you listen to one tune and when you listen to the other. Guilt, by the way, will throw off your balance so try to let go of guilt completely.
You may need to let go of things you'd like to do but that just don't make the cut after you prioritize. For example, home cooked meals with the whole family are important. But, they are not more important than letting my kids get involved in sports and other activities that take them away from home at night. Or, you would love to go to every one of your kid's soccer games but sometimes, you just need to stay at work to get something important finished. When I travel, I miss a lot at home. I miss all of the after school chats about the social world my boys live in. On the other hand, I do interesting work and go to interesting places and traveling is important for me to be effective. Although I feel sad when I miss things at home, I don't feel guilty because I made the decision to take a job that requires travel and I love what I do.
Dancing to multiple tunes every day is not easy. It requires trial and error. But, as Amanda told us today, learning the steps may be difficult but, once you learn the steps to the dance, you will find bliss.
Barrett,
I'm speechless. I know, hard to believe! Firstly, that you continue to practice even though it's so hard for you is an inspiration. Secondly, that you take the themes to heart and share them is an honor to me, my teachers and their teachers as well. You get the correlations between the mat and the real world. Brava! Thank you so much for your kind words and for honoring me and the teachings I hold so dear. After all, who needs to put their foot behind their head?
Reply to this
Amanda,
Thank you for reading my blog and for your kind comments. Yes, I love the themes you present in class. They inspire and make me think. Maybe one day I can take all of my intellectual understanding and use it to get my foot behind my head. I'll keep trying.
Reply to this
Interesting analogy, Barrett.
And congratulations on your book. I've already ordered my copy through Amazon!!
Gigi
Reply to this